talesfromthenursery:

What happens when your mom marries the school bully’s father:

“All set for school little guy?”

“Can I please have my underwear back, I don’t want to go to school in this.”

“I told you we’re throwing away all your underpants. Pull-ups are what you’ll be wearing from now on, unless you start having trouble keeping them dry. ”

“But why do I have to wear this!”

“For the same reason that we shaved the hair off your little boy bits. You’re my little bro and you need to look the part.”

“But what if someone sees me.”

“Oh they will see you, I’ll make sure of it. Everyone will know you’re my little bro. And remember if you have to potty you need to come find me and ask me to take you. If you can’t find me just use those pull-ups.”